even though you always push me aside

even though you always take me for granted

even though you never see the things i do for you..

even though you treat me this way,

i still love you. i’m still willing to sacrifice so much for you.

why am i always the one in this situation?

i question if you feel the same way. if our positions were reversed, would you be willing to do all this for me?

i want to say yes, but part of me says that’s a lie.

why are things like this?

why do i always have to be the one who feels like this?

i’m beyond miserable.

is this really worth it?

this isn’t going to work.

i can see it now, crumbling beneath my feet.

you never see the way you treat me. you never try to understand my point of view.

how you can treat me this way after all that i have sacrificed and done for you?

and you call ME an immature baby who needs to grow up? 

honestly, YOU’RE the one who needs a reality check. 

you tell me you care, but where’s the proof? 

after all, words mean nothing. it’s all about your actions.

so don’t just string together letters and expect me to believe you.

do something.

or this really won’t work.

chanel-smokes:

kind of explains my whole life

(Source: ioanasavin)

(Source: strongformyself)

(Source: ulethergo)

(Source: structivexoxo)

maybe

maybe i was right all along— that no one should ever pass my walls

they serve to protect me,

but they act as shackles, too,

for inside the castle lives a beast— one that should never roam free.

all these things you said about me… i know them just as well

and for those reasons, i locked myself up tightly— never to be seen

or so i thought.

somehow, i was freed. filled with joy, i bathed in sunshine,

but now i see why i was sealed; i could never be of good.

destruction, pain, grief, disaster— i had caused it all.

and now i’m staring at that castle,

thinking that, maybe, that’s where i’m meant to be.

some things

no matter how hard we strive to get past it,

no matter how hard we try to change…

there always seems to be that same obstacle;

what if some things we can’t change?

we can learn to love again

just give me a reason,

just a little bit’s enough,

just a second; we’re not broken, just bent

how long?

how long have i been trapped in this cage? i don’t even know.

because this whole time, i’ve been denying it.  i was the dumb bird who refused to believe what everyone had been pointing out. til the very end, i fought against it.

but now  that i see it with my own eyes, i can no longer deny it.

i’ve been caged.

what will i do if this doesn’t last? what will i do if this road leads nowhere? 

all these emotions stirred up inside me.. what will i do with them?

i don’t think i could handle another fall… i was already so broken from before. and now, i’m dangling even higher.

i chose to give my everything to you. i chose to give you what no one else has had the chance to even get a glimpse of. i chose to trust you with my whole heart and being.

so how will i survive this fall?

i told you before,

i’d rather be hurt than lied to

because, then, at least you had the courtesy to tell me the truth

i’m scared that this won’t be worth it in the end

that everything i’ve worked so hard for will just crumble and break apart

and that all this will mean nothing

and you had the balls to lie to me after that night… you knew how much you hurt me and regretted it… so how could you lie to me. how could you break my trust. i don’t tolerate any lies, and yet, for you, i have. i’ve placed more faith in you than anyone i’ve ever known..and that’s why i continue to stay by your side, even now.

so please, please….

don’t take advantage of my trust.